Eyes
by Thirteenth-Spider
Summary: This is my first fic. Kurapika POV, angst about his own eyes and junk. Just read it and review, ok? Go easy on the flames, too.


Disclaimer: Yes!!! Kurapika-sama is mine!!! He's mine, I tell ya!!! So keep away, all ya Leorios, Kuroros, Hisokas, Killuas and other yaoi or non yaoi pairings! He is mine!!!  
  
Eyes (Completed May 17, 2002)  
  
Blue Eyes  
  
Know how it feels to have blood splattered on you? Well, I do. The blood of my tribe members, killed because of the red eyes we hold. I survived, yet why? If I was just stronger, I could have saved them. Instead, I lay there, hiding in the shadows like the coward I am, watching them die one by one.  
  
A fear developed. It was a fear of spiders. What did you say? Yeah, what kind of a wuss is afraid of itty-bitty spiders? Well, I am. I am that wuss. All because the people who killed my family, had tattoos of 12-legged spiders on their backs. Is that enough explanation for you? Yes, I know it's a stupid reason, fearing all kinds of spiders instead of just one, but that's the way it really is.  
  
I was filled with thoughts of revenge and hatred for the ones who killed my family. Any sane person would probably feel the same way. I vowed that I would kill them and I would take back those 30 pairs of eyes they got. I found out that they were the most notorious criminal group, the Genei Ryoudan, and I could gain more information if I became a hunter. So I took the test.  
  
I never really wanted to make friends on that test. Truth be told, at first the only reason I joined forces with Gon and Leorio was because Gon caught my interest. He was not like other people. Nothing personal, just curiosity. Leorio? I can't seem to shake him off no matter how I tried. Then Killua came in, he too caught my interest. I never thought our friendship will grow stronger after the Hunter Exam, but now, its growth seems to be like a weed, getting into my way all the time.  
  
You see, it's like this. If Gon would lay off on trying to help me capture the Ryoudan, I wouldn't have always gotten them into trouble. Their lives are in danger, my co-workers' lives are also in danger just because of me. Hey, it's not my fault. My co-workers got into this mess because our boss wanted to buy a pair of Kuruta Red Eyes on the auction. That's right. Our tribe's red eyes being sold like fish in a marketplace. A really rich marketplace, but a marketplace nonetheless. If they just lay off their greed and just let me get those eyes for myself, it would have been just fine. And about Gon, I never asked for his help. He offered it. He begged me to take it.  
  
My first taste of revenge, before Gon offered his help, before our boss bought the red eyes. It was a tall, muscular beast of a man, Genei Ryoudan number 11. He was not an easy adversary, yet I managed to trap him with my chains. I tortured him, told him that if he would not tell me who his friends are and why they killed our tribe, my chains will crush his heart. Yet he was strong, he would not tell me. So I killed him, blood splattering on my face.  
  
Red Eyes  
  
  
  
Disgusting. So that was how it felt, the stench and the sliminess of someone else's blood. And yet it was satisfying. Satisfying to see that he was dead, and that I only had twelve more people to go. Satisfying that I had purged the world of one big pest.  
  
Wait a minute? What am I saying? I'm a murderer. That makes me no better than they are. I'm beginning to be, just like the people I hate.  
  
Murder? Killing? Whatever. Come to think of it, all people kill. They kill dreams, ambitions, hopes, and lives. However small it's still the same thing. We all kill. So maybe I'm just as bad as you are. Maybe you're worse, or maybe I am.  
  
Revenge. Sickening isn't it. But you would've done the same.  
  
Blue Eyes  
  
Darn it! I'm at a loss. What is the right thing to do? Will killing the Ryoudan bring back my family? No, it wouldn't. And the thought that killing them would purge the world of thirteen pests, that's just a sick excuse I'm hiding in! A sick excuse to make me forget the sicker reason of why I'm doing this!  
  
Red Eyes  
  
Why do I have these eyes anyway?! I hate them! If only we didn't have red eyes! Look, there they go, flashing their vivid red color again! I hate my eyes! I hate my tribe for having them! I hate the people who took them! I hate my so-called friends and the people who get in the way! But most of all. I hate myself. Why couldn't I just have no feelings? Why couldn't I just become strong? Why couldn't I just. die?  
  
OWARI 


End file.
